The day I beat my Daddy Dear!

Dad was very strict. I have had his belt, slippers, clothe hangers doing their rounds on my body until I had RED marks and bulging areas all over my body.........to put me back in place.
I was willing to break these SHACKLES at home-Became a King in the midst of a "Royal following" which comprised rowdies, vagabonds and mother-beaters (though I had no commonality with these guys even in terms of pronouncing the OFFICIAL bunch of bad words).My dad got wind of this and started setting off the ALARM for me to keep clear of these guys

8 years ago, on a day of dramatic climaxes, I was incensed and the volcano of anger within me erupted. I thought that there was no freedom.Engaged my dad for fiery exchanges. Dad was in a rude shock;How would he expect a precious baby (I was a baby for him at any point of time) to blurt out rough responses to kind,concern-filled words. I said that he was the one incharge of my mediocre state and that I would have made it big if I had been in some other family. He aired his military kinda shouts and I wouldnt subside at this insidious noisy rumblings.

My body was just fresh from winning strength -1 on 1 bouts with friends-even lifting up a 96 kg monster of a friend all the way down the stairs and I thought that I was stronger than dad for the first time.......Pride veiled my eyes and power shut my ears from the cry of my poor mother and sister.........I pushed my dad to the wall, hit him hard, pulled a chair and choked his throat............until I was frozen to see that THERE WAS A DEMON INSIDE ME TRYING TO KILL MY DAD..................mom and sister were holding my feet for me to show mercy on my daddy!

I threw the chair away;had nothing to hide my bitterly guilty and shame-filled face.That steel chair was twisted completely out of shape on account of my throwing it away..
I stirred my green color scooter that was in Dad's name and flew straight into the wall to kill myself.................... but fell down just metres before that.

Dad said,"my son, I love you so much.I forgive this act of yours.Kill me if you want.But I will be happy to die, if you are going to have a good and happy life"

I hardly spoke any words at hom coz I was crying daily. At times when I opened the door of the bedroom silently, I saw my dear mother on her knees with tear drops all around her and heard these words through her sobs.........

"JESUS, PLEASE TOUCH MY SON AND BRING HIM BACK TO YOU.Change him into a being of love who can serve you"

I cried, falling at daddy's feet and confessed my fault. I REALIZED THAT LOVE WAS THE MOST POWERFUL AND FORGIVENESS WAS INVINCIBLE and ANGER CANT STAND AGAINST EVEN THE MOST MINISCULE WORD OF LOVE.

I started loving daddy more than ever before.................often ran to lonely places to cry for God's forgiveness on me.

I turned, changed......severed my connection with the so called friends.....................sacrificed MY CRAZE FOR CRICKET,

Dad used to pray for me every Saturday at 4:00pm as I was leaving home to Minsiter. He was happy to see his son as he picked up the BIBLE and went to the JUVENILE HOME (prison for Young Convicts-children who committed crimes) and taught them singing and praying and the WORD of God.

For I know that I was the one who should have been in that prison

Another Birthday without Dad's Kiss

The sea seems to teach me more lessons nowadays.Iam a Kindergarten student of the School called BEACH!

March 6th, the end of days....of my past year and I was entering a new Year.Cool sands.A whole view of the moon that was reflected by the small bumpy waves across the horizon.The white frothy sea that was playing games like POLICE-THIEF, like the kind I used to play as a child..............they chased each other and then returned to the sea again.Crabs coming out of their holes and being washed clean by the waves.....................

I was trying to count the grains of sand.eh? Yes and I couldn't count them anymore than those miracles that I had accumulated down the years.

Don't know how I ever lived beyond the 11th month when I was closer to death for 3 days......how God stretched me beyond my 12th year when I was closer to death again....................how I ever lived after 1998 when rowdies had surrounded me with deadly weapons to wipe me out............40+ of them. me in the middle and still none was able to even touch me.40+:1 and I was alive (I saw them all wiped out of that place in just 2 weeks).......................should I call this the CLOUDY PILLAR AND FIERY PILLAR of GOD's grace surrounding me 24/7 and 365 days

How did I live after those innumerable accidents...oh after that Lorry that ran right into the bus and was on top of me.........when I woke up and gathered the walk-man and saw glass pieces all over me and walked out of the bus.The crowd saw me as a walking miracle.

He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions." (Daniel 6:27)

Again when another bus came right into the fifth row of seats and left another shower of glasses on my head and body.The glass was CUT..........IT COULDN'T CUT ANY BIT OF EVEN MY HAIR...................hey devil I'm invincible

Then the angel of God, who had been traveling in front of Israel's army, withdrew and went behind them. The pillar of cloud also moved from in front and stood behind them,(Exodus 14:19)

Those willful stunts and hair-raising bike/car stunts that I have done and the single-handed handling of rowdies as a 18 year old and how God helped me crush them.....(with no fear I walk right into their den and say,"YOU TRY MESSING WITH ME AND YOU ARE GONE" 35 of them and armed with deadly weapons and heavily drunk-all of 'em....... and then I take my scooter and chase them all.I SCARED THE HELL OUT OF THOSE ROWDIES WHO HAD 20+ MURDER cases in their name......................oh I love it all (U can only do that if you STRONGLY BELIEVE THAT NO HARM CAN BEFALL YOU IF GOD IS IN CONTROL.........and HE IS IN TOTAL CONTROL)

He rescues and he saves; he performs signs and wonders in the heavens and on the earth. He has rescued Daniel from the power of the lions." (Daniel 6:27)

The High-Tide that occurs only when it sees the moon...................Seems like the sea knows it that its ebb and flow depends on the Moon................................ though the Sun comes there in the morning with a brightness that is million times more powerful that than the midnight Moon, it can never make the sea to produce the HIGH and LOW tides that launches the ships.

God, do u still want me alive........................ya I feel, to comfort someone who has lost the last bit of vision to see the ray of HOPE called LOVE.

God, bless me so that I can be a HANKY in your hand to wipe someone's tears......................

The Ice Cream cart pulled by...........as I discarded the second stick of Mango Duet Ice cream the Moonlight winked at my watch.....it showed 7th March:12:01am


The length of our days is seventy years— or eighty, if we have the strength; yet their span is but trouble and sorrow, for they quickly pass, and we fly away.(Psalm 90:10)


And I saw another day..............without fanfare...without kisses from my Daddy on my Birthday..............another year which saw so many of my friends who kept me at bay.............another year...............peering into the dark sea that is dimly lit with the glittering glimpses of a full moon that tries to hide itself behind those constantly passing traffic of clouds.

Dad was an epitome of Neatness.He raised me in cleanliness.

He wanted things to be neat and tidy, things falling in their right locations and never was satisfied with an unkempt look.

Remember how dad used to bathe me daily and got me ready to school (Dad had to do it till my 4th standard coz I preferred dad's handling more than my mom's) As a child he wanted me to smell PEARS (which was a costly soap then and was available only in select shops in the city) and bathed me in it.He used to carry me to the small wall-like partition, made me stand on it and then wiped me dry. I used to wait for him to blow away the residual water from my belly button and for the cleaning of the ears with the pointed edge of the towel and then the feather of a hen........................Dad, I miss it all so much. It seems like Dad took care of me as if I were a costly piece of art bought amid tense bidding at an auctioning firm like Christie's or the Sotheby's.

He washed my uniform clothes and seldom allowed mom to do that coz she was a wheezing patient! Oh what a love chemist my dad was!!!!!!!!!!!!

His military type creasing of my clothes always made me look like I was wearing uniforms straight from the apparel showroom.He shined my shoes until his hands ached out of the brushing (CHERRY Blossom was the Shoe Polish that he preferred above the others) and until it could reflect the light in BLACK Shine.

When I entered college I used to stop my dad just near the gate (of our house), would carry the polish and the brush and shine it until he said "STOP Jean".I'm late already.I liked my dad being the best.He looked smart in his Safaris and always wore his smile beneath the BIG MOUSTACHE that was combed carefully time and again (mom trimmed it down during his later years saying that he looked older than he really was)

Daddy, today I was remembering you in the bathroom and how I wished that time was frozen like a statue and that there would have been no end to your little acts of love.......................it rose tier above tier, story upon story and WE NEVER REALLY KNEW THAT YOU WERE CLIMBING ON IT DAILY UNTIL YOU REACHED GOD and Heaven.

I have searched daddy................there is no elevator...........no not even in that TAIPEI 101 or that PETRONAS TOWER or that SEARS TOWER or that EMPIRE STATE BUILDING.............that can take me to the place where you are now.

Daddy,if there is an INTERNET connection, could you please access this blog in heaven.......................can you reply me atleast through a mail? LOVE U SO MUCH DAD!